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Change of Season

October 4, 2007

(…just to clear something up, Erin, the daily-blogging starts in November. I’ll try to work up to it and blog more often. Just to make you happy.)

It’s October! My favorite month. I’m totally loving it. Our house is looking very homey and comforting. Terri is on a big candle kick, which makes coming home extremely lovely, all soft and fragranced and welcoming. It’s time to start cooking again!

The other day I just sat at our comfy, pretty table and looked over a Cooking Light magazine full of delicious soups and comfort foods, and just… ahhh. So relaxing and wonderful. If only it were raining, it would have been perfect.

I’ve spent the last two days at a work conference/meeting. I had a frustrating experience supervising the temp who put these gift mugs together, but the overall effect was pretty, don’t you think?

As always, I was so inspired the entire conference. Each presentation was more inspiring than the last, and I kept choking back tears. The people who work here are so dedicated, so full of heart, and such nice people, really lovely. I feel lucky to be among them, and truly privileged to be able to listen in on all the amazing stories and work being done. Plus it was nice to be able to just sit and absorb, rather than spending all day running after details as usual.

And here’s something going around in my head.

At one point today, I noticed that some old, familiar thoughts had crept into my head. Not exactly unwelcome ones, either (for a change). After taking two or three (?) years off, I started having thoughts of nursing school again. Hello?! However, instead of feeling like it would be a career change, it felt like a career enhancement. What do I mean? I’m not sure.

It’s like, a few years ago when I was first taking nursing prerequisite classes, I was convinced that I needed to find the answer, that I needed to make a big change and I needed to find something. I chose nursing since it made sense. I used my head. This time, surrounded by people whom I admire, it entered my heart as a natural path, a next step. Or an idea of a step. I’m not sure towards what, yet. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s not even nursing, maybe it’s something else. But I welcomed the spark of inspiration, a hint of a direction. I’ve spent a lot of time in the past year focusing on myself, doing art and other projects and exploring other avenues. I learned a lot. I let go of a lot. Eventually I just accepted myself where I was. And that was good.

And now this. A spark. Who knows where it will go, if anywhere? What’s different is, instead of feeling like I have to do something about it now, because tick-tick-tick, time is going by, I feel like, Hmm. Let’s think about this. Let’s see what happens. Maybe it will lead somewhere completely unexpected. Maybe it won’t lead anywhere. But, I feel good about it. I like it. I like this feeling, of, “Oh! This is new!”

One of the presentations today was about finding that spark, that excitement, the power from within. Owning your life, finding your own potential, all that stuff. Shining eyes. It’s fun to feel like a door is opening a crack. To where, who knows? Maybe it’s enough that it opened, all on its own.

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