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It’s Not Really Like This

October 25, 2007
Rainy San Francisco rooftops… taken 2 weeks ago.

I wish it were raining. It’s too freaking sunny. I get really crabby this time of year when it remains stubbornly sunny, warm, and beautiful outside. I want puddles with orange maple leaves floating in them. Chilly days that give you permission to bake and drink hot chocolate. An excuse to bring out fall sweaters and scarves. This perfect-weather thing is for the birds. It makes you feel all guilty, like you should be out there enjoying it or something.

We looked at a little cottage in our court a few days ago. It was fun to think about a quick, easy move just across the street, to a little house of our own. I mean, little. But we went over to look at it, and although we wanted it to be perfect, to call our names and beg us to make it our own… it did not. It felt flat, unwelcoming, almost prickly. The kitchen was especially sad. Small, cramped, ugly. I can’t go back to that.

We walked back to our apartment, and as soon as we opened the door, I felt it: Home. We’re home again. What a nice, cozy, wonderful and unexpected gift. We were thinking about leaving our high nest, expecting to be called away by the charms of a free-standing cottage. But instead, it was our own home calling us back. It was like walking back into a hug. She said, I won’t let you down! I’ve got everything you need. Look how charming I am, look how I can be if you give me some more attention.

She also said, quite clearly, We need a new couch, and an HDTV! Oh wait, Terri said that. Heh. We’re working on the couch part. It would help a lot. Our current couch is so deceiving. It’s very pretty, very high quality. But not at all comfortable. In fact, uncomfortable. It is really disappointing. I hope that we can get a new couch by the holidays. Maybe that will be our gift to ourselves.

Other house-y updates that we’d like to make:

  • Kitchen curtains, both for ‘pretty’ and for privacy.
  • A second layer of curtains in the living room and bedroom. This is trickier as our walls completely suck for putting up curtain rods. But maybe I can find a solution.
  • Continue the clutter-free direction.
  • Finish the Art and Soul room. Get a cozy chair, some new lighting, a window treatment, get rid of all the cords and clutter.
  • Plants for our half of the front porch. I hate sharing the porch.

We decided that we’re just going to stay put until the perfect house comes along. And that probably won’t be for a few years. We even decided that should a Little come along, we can turn the art room into a nursery until he/she gets big enough that we HAVE to move (which would happen fairly quickly). That put my heart at ease. It’s not imminent, but someday soon there will be a Little and that Little will need a few things. But our apartment won’t hold up progress, should progress be made.

It’s nice to finally feel like we have a home. I’ve always liked the energy in our current home, but it wasn’t until we thought about leaving that we realized that is really is home, and that we kind of love it.

All kinds of shifts happening. I’m grateful. Life is good. And it would be better if it were raining.

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