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A Little Adrift

November 9, 2008

I’m feeling a little adrift. We found an apartment that we like — it’s big, pretty, has a fireplace, old-fashioned picture rails, in a neighborhood in Oakland we like very much, etc. Very large shared yard (with an adorable doggie). We applied. It’s up to the owner now. So what’s the problem?

The problem is that I can’t believe we have to move! It’s very hard to accept. I’m trying to get past it and just deal with the current facts. I just feel very anxious about it all. I’m not sure why. We’ve been praying for some help and some answers… and when those answers come (mold! move! here’s an apartment right now!), we’re still stuck in anxiety-land. Maybe that’s just how it is right now.

I am also feeling a little adrift with my book situation. I’m just not into my current book and I haven’t gone to the library to stock up on new reads. So I’m sort of uninspired. Maybe I have post-Terror malaise. You know when a book is so good, anything else you read after that seems blah?

So, what’s a girl to do? Well, this girl makes delicious vegetable ratatouille and creamy polenta. And then, perhaps this girl will go to the hundreds of books stacked up in the hall and choose something more engaging. And we’ll wait for the answer about whether we get this apartment or not. And then maybe the pieces will start falling into place, instead of me feeling like we’re all falling to pieces.

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