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Oh, Martha

January 19, 2009

Tonight I thought I would indulge a little weakness of mine and got myself the February edition of Martha Stewart’s Living magazine. I used to subscribe to it, quite a few years ago, until I realized that it was completely useless, although beautiful.

I was tempted by the beautiful cupcakes on the cover, and the Valentine crafts (we didn’t do holiday cards this year, so I thought we could do Valentines instead). I generally buy this magazine about once a year, when a cover is so pretty that I just can’t resist. I always hope that THIS will be the issue when Martha’s tricks will make sense for my life.

(let me first say that I am not a Martha fan in general — I sort of like her ideas, but I think she’s completely overblown and pretentious and her recipes never work for me. However, her magazines are laid out beautifully, and the color pages are great for certain crafts, and her tips and tricks always seem like they’ll be good, until I try them and realized that they’re totally impractical. Tying ribbons around towels in the linen closet? Puh-leeze)

So anyway. I’m here with my tea and cookies (from my sweet Terri, again taking care of me), and I open the magazine in anticipation of cupcake recipes and Valentine crafts. Instead, I am greeted with Martha’s travelling tips. These include (I am not making these up): never ever checking your suitcases unless you can first shrink-wrap them (because they are so often damaged by rough conveyor belts). Using layers of acid-free paper in your sweaters before you fold them. Before putting your shoes in custom canvas bags, stuff the toes with acid-free paper. Pre-assemble your outfits and hang them on sturdy hangers, and then wrap those in plastic.

She then goes on to say, “This packing system works well and is easy to incorporate into your next trip.” Right. Right. Let me get out my, uh, shrink-wrapping machine. Martha, I am sorry to say, but I am not your type of girl.

It was so pretty today (the trees are confused, see above). V and I went out thrift-shopping. I haven’t been in a long time, so it was really fun. I got some great things:

* 4 stained-glass votive candle holders that look amazing on the mantle
* a soft kitty-blanket for the bottom shelf of the hall closet that the cats have claimed
* an olive plate (yes, we eat olives enough to justify a pretty little olive plate)
* a little bird-and-tree knickknack to hold my jewelry in the bathroom
* a Zen chime clock that I’ve been wanting for years — 5 bucks!

All this joy for $18.

Now that, Martha, is living.

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