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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To A Meltdown

March 26, 2009

I have been so tired lately. So. Tired. WTF? Seriously. So I’m taking some steps to remedy this. Mostly it involves not doing much. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not very good at Not Doing Stuff. I don’t enjoy it. What I do enjoy is doing stuff that makes me happy. But when I’m so tired that I can’t even do that, things are bad. I start to have meltdowns. Large and small. Mini-meltdowns numerous times throughout the day. It’s tiring. It’s a bad cycle.

I had one the other night. Then the very sweet and wise doctor that I live with reminded me of my plan to Not Worry About It for at least six months. Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that! (being tired also means short attention span and memory loss, apparently).

So once I was reminded of this, suddenly I started to see all kinds of cool things right in front of me. My books are filled with amazing images that I want to paint. My neighborhood has all these great streets that I want to run around in. The library has entire sections of books that I want to read. The thrift stores are filled with funky fashion finds that won’t break the bank.

Fun stuff. All right there. For when you’re not having a meltdown.

I was reading The Wood Wife last night and it is so full of amazing images; I want to get out large pieces of paper and pastels and get down these ideas. I really, really want to have an art show, even just a little one in a coffeeshop. I want to have an Etsy shop. I want to do more creative things. I want to stop living in fear that this creative life I want won’t Be Enough.

The truth is, right now we have enough. And there’s no reason why I can’t do what I want.

So. I’m reminding myself: The Six Month Plan Which Isn’t A Plan. Just do the fun stuff that I want, and don’t worry about it.

Starting today (again). Right now!

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