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a break in the clouds

July 29, 2010
IMG_0071, originally uploaded by Daphne Ann.

So, I’ve been a little overtired and overworried and overwhelmed lately (when aren’t I?). I’m a total introvert so having friends and family in town, while wonderful and I want more of it, wears me out. Add to that some new recent health issues with Terri, and you get a totally exhausted me. I hate to complain, but I’ve been really tired this week. Like, the kind of tired where you feel dizzy just sitting there, the kind of tired where you feel nauseous walking to your car and the thought of making dinner makes you want to cry. Luckily this weekend I have nothing planned at all, and only minimal computer work to do, which I can do in bed (and believe me, it will be done, in my jammies, in bed, with a big cup of tea and maybe some gluten-free brownies).

However I broke out of my haze long enough to get grumpy about a certain Very Famous Mommyblogger (I know, like I couldn’t find anything better to unhaze for. Oh well.) Emboldened by Tammie’s recent excellent rant against “$30 crayon mommies” (are there really $30 crayons?), I just have to say a wee bit about this VFM. (PS: it’s nobody who reads my blog. Ha! She is too busy being on HGTV to read my blog. Oh wait, did I just give it away?)

So anyway. With the caveat that I realize that everything is relative and pain is pain and overwhelm is overwhelm and pretty much nobody’s life is easy, I recently read a post by this VFM in which she decries her bad parenting (of two beautiful daughters), her overwhelm with her (newly purchased gigantic dream) home, a flat tire (with someone there — her healthy mate — to change it for her) and dog diarrhea (from one of her TWO silly adorable dogs, who are otherwise healthy). Aside from the fact that also there have been a lot of deaths in their family, which always sucks and I’m not complaining about that part, I had a really, really, reallllllllly hard time feeling any sort of sorry for her. I’ve had a hard time relating to her for a long time. Anytime you suddenly get to fly to the White House for a conference with the President and you get to buy your dream home and you have assistants and a TV show and etc. etc. and basically everything you ever dreamed of, aside from deaths in the family and true illness, you lose my sympathy when it comes to things like flat tires and dog messes.

I know she makes her money making mountains out of molehills, and I know I can choose not to read it (and I don’t usually read it). But really?

This is the thing about a lot of these witty, writerly, sponsored mommybloggers (whom, it must be noted, I really don’t read very often because they annoy the heck out of me). When they get all down in their margaritas (which their always-saintly husbands make for them, and about which they are always self-deprecating, as if there’s anything wrong with a margarita at the end of a day), I get frustrated and mad. I get frustrated because sometimes *I* would like very much to be a mommy and I don’t know if that can happen, and it makes me really heartbrokenly sad sometimes. I say (in my head) to them, “Suck it up. You got everything you asked for.” I don’t want all sweetness and light all the time because that’s saccharine and stupid, but when a VFM has the nerve to say something about how stressful and crazy her life (with two assistants, family close by, plenty of money and everyone is healthy) is, I just have to say, “But you built it — SUCK. IT. UP.”

So I guess, when we finally find that house (we did not get the one we bid on), and have our dog(s), and maybe the ragamuffins across the street decide we are cool and come over for lemonade and stories, and we are making home movies about our first garden and the adventures of fixing up a fixer-upper, I am going to glow and glow with deep happiness, because we built it.

Rant over. Back to our regularly scheduled chatter about books, sewing, cooking, art and general blather.

(oh yeah, and when the glow wears off and I complain about all that good stuff, I don’t want to hear any references to this post unless suddenly I also get a TV show, two assistants, two beautiful daughters and a gigantic dream home. Then you can smack me upside the head when I complain.)

11 Comments leave one →
  1. July 29, 2010 6:12 pm

    HA! i stopped reading that VFM because i could no longer relate to her. i would love to have some of her problems.

    and yes there are $30 crayons. ill send you some links later on the down low. 😉

  2. July 29, 2010 6:44 pm

    No way. Yes, please send. And also some of these $30 crayon moms. I’m dying to know.

  3. July 29, 2010 7:45 pm

    also, in regards to the sentence that was slightly lost in your post: i really hope you and terri can become mommies, someway. im rooting for you.

  4. D'Arcy permalink
    July 29, 2010 7:47 pm

    I have no trouble believing there are $30 crayons, and am not really surprised that there are moms who would buy them (I think a lot of them live in the neighbourhood where I teach)

    You know what? I *am* fortunate enough to have a healthy partner, three healthy and beautiful kids, a pretty good life,and I can’t relate to those moms you described either. You’re absolutely right – at some point, everyone just needs to suck it up, put on your big girl panties and DEAL WITH IT. And if you can’t,with all that you’ve got going for you and all that support (I am referring here of course to the VFM, not you) you don’t deserve all that you’ve got.

  5. July 29, 2010 8:51 pm

    Tammie: aw, thanks. Me too. In some form, somehow.

    D’Arce: I’d buy $30 crayons for ME, maybe… and see, you’re actually a sane, down-to-earth person who knows they’re lucky, has ups and downs, and doesn’t judge others.
    (yes, I’m totally judging the VFM, but whatever.)

  6. D'Arcy permalink
    July 29, 2010 9:18 pm

    I looked up that VFM, by the way. I had no idea who you were talking about but I think I found her. She comes across as incredibly self-absorbed (which, by the way, is the word I was looking for on Monday to describe my sister)

    As for the crayons – yes, for an adult who knows how to treat them and is actually going to make art with them, I can see it. For a toddler (I went and read Tammie’s post about this), it’s just crazy. It’s like how I am willing to spend a little bit more and buy quality clothing for me, because it will last for a while and (hopefully) my size isn’t going to change much, but for the kids, who will outgrow it in six months – forget it.

    And Tammie, like I said, I read your post about the $30 crayon mommies, and I am right there with you. You choose your priorities, and let some less important stuff slide.

  7. July 30, 2010 4:08 am

    Could you tell me who this VFM is, so I can get angry right along with you? I’m a mom — but I also have to work full-time outside the home. This leaves me with little time to spend with my kids (who are teenagers and don’t want to be with me any way). And, I have to clean my house, cook, keep the outside from resembling a jungle, etc. My husband commutes 80 miles (one-way) to work each day. Dang it….Life can be a struggle sometimes. So yeah — your VFM can suck it up.

    (And I’m sorry you didn’t get the house you wanted….But the ONE is out there somewhere with your name on it).

  8. trapunto permalink
    July 30, 2010 8:57 am

    Came. Heard. Empathized.

  9. August 1, 2010 2:14 pm

    I’ve never visited a VFM blog of any kind, just can’t relate on so many levels but to complain about dog poo and a flat tire? Is that really so end of the world? See, I told you I can’t relate. Sorry you didn’t get the place you bid on. I know how disappointing it probably is because if it were me I’d have already moved in and started decorating. You’ll find a place. I hope you have had a relaxing and restful weekend. You really need some downtime Daph. Take care of yourself, k?

  10. August 1, 2010 2:24 pm

    Trapunto: Thank you!!

    Stef: I am totally doing just that. I got out of my PJs just long enough yesterday to get some dinner, and it’s 2:30 today and I still haven’t gotten out of pajamas yet. I am taking some major downtime this weekend.

    We were disappointed about the place, but it’s okay. I think we actually really want a house, anyway. 🙂

  11. August 2, 2010 4:10 pm

    A lot of the VFMs and semi-VFMs (those famous here in Blog Land) can make me feel shitty.

    Maybe I should sit around and sing Kumbaya. Feel that positive energy.


    Sorry about the house and such. The universe will correct all wrongs in time.

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