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Final List Of The Week: Top 10 Skills I Wish I Had, But Probably Never Will

August 6, 2010

Ok fine, I finally made up my own damn list.

1. Ride a horse really well and throw a lasso. I can ride horses (sort of) but I think I’ll probably never be a cowgirl.

2. Be uber-organized. I’m a Virgo, so I’m semi-organized at all times, but I lack the uber-organization gene. I’m a piler, not a filer. I like rules but I also like to break rules. That ends up looking like this: I have drawers (shelves, closet racks, computer files) organized by contents (STRICTLY organized by contents — contents DO NOT MIX). But within the drawers, it’s a jumble. For instance, I have my art drawers highly organized by paper, pens, misc. art supplies, tools, etc. But all my tools are just tossed in the drawer. ย Being too strict makes my head hurt.

3. Make decent scrambled eggs. I don’t know why I can’t do this. I suck at making scrambled eggs.

4. Cut my own hair. Some women can do this, and they look great. I would not be one of them. I can, however, cut Terri’s hair. No small feat.

5. Start a fire with no matches.

6. Make charming small talk. God I suck at small talk.

7. Knit socks. Because how cool is that?

8. Apply liquid eyeliner. I have tried and tried and tried. I always end up messing it up and having to fix it with a Q-Tip. Annoying. Or is that just how it’s done?

9. Operate heavy machinery, like a caterpillar or a backhoe. Anything involving wearing a hardhat.

10. Follow directions that start out with, “First you drive north for two blocks, then you go southwest for about three more blocks, and finally you head west.” WTF?

There you have it. List Week. Next up: another Really Bad Book Review.

17 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2010 9:26 am

    WOW, I’m with you. Number 2, 3 and 5 are going on my list now!! LOL, I never thought about those things until now. Will you be my muse? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • August 6, 2010 9:30 am

      Imjustsayen: anytime! but I think I’m not much a muse. but hey, if I can inspire you to make better eggs, I’m all for it.

  2. August 6, 2010 9:50 am

    I was planning on blogging about this very thing myself. Things on my list include sewing, canning foods, formal dancing, trilling my tongue when saying foreign words (which apparently can’t be learned, according to my college choral director), and driving a stick.

    • August 6, 2010 10:46 am

      I can’t trill my tongue either! Huge bummer.

      • August 9, 2010 6:52 pm

        I couldn’t trill my tongue ever, and I hated it, but then I finally learned a couple of years ago. I typed out how I trained myself at the time, because I was so excited, lol, but never posted it. If you want me to e-mail it to you to see if it helps you, let me know. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • August 6, 2010 1:58 pm

      i cant do this either. always wanted to be able to…..

  3. trapunto permalink
    August 6, 2010 10:45 am

    This excellent list made me laugh.

    Just recently I have made decent scrambled eggs now and then completely by accident. Not under controlled conditions, so not repeatable!

    I used to be uber-organized, but am no longer (Capricorn married to a Virgo). Life gets messy, you know?

    • August 6, 2010 10:47 am

      I always follow all the directions for scrambled eggs, all the “tricks”… but to no avail. Oh well, it’s just as well. Terri doesn’t like eggs so I make them only infrequently for myself.

  4. August 6, 2010 1:22 pm

    Ha! I can relate to many of these. Even some in the comments.

    I wish I could use a straightening iron. I always end up with crimpy looking hair.

    • August 8, 2010 8:57 pm

      I LOVE my straightening iron. I can’t use a curling iron at all, however.

  5. August 6, 2010 1:58 pm

    ha. you and i are the same kind of organized. i would like to be better organized.

    and as you know, i cannot do small talk either.

    • August 8, 2010 8:57 pm

      Oh, small talk. The bane of my professional existence…

  6. D'Arcy permalink
    August 6, 2010 7:46 pm

    Wow, there is something I can make that Daph can’t? I make good scrambled eggs. In university, one of my roommates once overheard my boyfriend standing at the stove making scrambled eggs and sort of saying to himself, “Okay, when D’Arce makes scrambled eggs, she does this.”

    As a fellow first born Virgo, I’m the same kind of organized as you. Ryan once said to me, “You’re always telling me how organized you are at school. We could use some of that at home, too, you know!”

    I’m okay at small talk if someone else gets it started. I’m too shy to start, but can usually continue a conversation if someone else begins it.

    I can roll my r’s – two different ways, even!

    I wish I could sing ๐Ÿ™‚

    I also wish I could drive stick, speak Dutch, apply make-up really well (not just mascara and lipstick) and ballroom dance.

    • August 8, 2010 8:58 pm

      I’m jealous of your “r” rolling. Dangit.

      And I wish you could sing, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Lara Starr permalink
    August 7, 2010 9:23 pm

    Great list – here’s mine. And next time you and I are in a room together with a stove I’ll show you how I make scrambled eggs. I don’t eat the them (shudder) but I’m told they are the bomb

    1) Speak Spanish. I gave it my best shot in high school, and that shot was muy malo…
    2) Play piano. I think it would be so lovely to be able to play any instrument, but not enough to actually take lessons or practice
    3) Knit. I’ve tried a lot, and it has all the qualities of a hobby I’d love, but I don’t….
    4) Garden. I do go on about how much I hate dirt, but it would be nice to be able to have the knack for growing something
    5) Iron. I don’t do it often, and when I do I do it poorly
    6) Text. Don’t do it, probably should join the 21st century, probably won’t.
    7) Read out loud to Max without getting antsy. It’s important, and I do it, but only in short spurts. John can do it for hours.
    8) Draw. I can be crafty and creative, but can’t draw to save my life.
    9) Drink water. Not sure if this is a skill or a habit, but just can’t get in 8 glasses a day
    10) Touch Type. The boy and I are *trying* really hard to practice and get it, but it may prove more difficult than I thought to teach this old dog a new trick.

    • August 8, 2010 8:59 pm

      I suck at ironing too. I don’t seem to have the patience to do it right. Although I’m trying to learn.

      What kind of typing do you do instead? My mom DRILLED the importance of being a good typist into us. One thing I’m really glad about.

  8. August 10, 2010 8:09 am

    I can knit socks. I love to knit socks. Will be glad to teach or recommend a good book and provide lots of encouragement ๐Ÿ™‚ it cracks me up that you can’t make good scrambled eggs. It was one of the things I was pretty good at making before James and veganism came along.

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