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an even sadder story

December 6, 2010

But first, a cute photo of Thomas, now exploring (and lounging about) the house. He’s doing better and better.

So yesterday in an email from Terri’s sister, she says, “Let me know if you need a ride to your doctor’s appointment.” I’m like, oh yeah. That thing. Well, I’ve got plenty of time to worry about it. I go into the kitchen to put dishes away or something and happen to glance at the calendar. Um, so it turns out that December 6th is not a week away. It’s tomorrow. (today).

Sigh. So I first said yes, I’d love a ride, then no, I’m canceling the appointment, then yes, okay, fine, I’ll go to the damn appointment.

So we go. The doctor is very nice. I ask him if it’s possible to do the procedure withOUT the numbing shot, because I think I can handle a certain amount of pain but I can’t handle the shot in my ear. It’s either grit my teeth and get through it, or don’t do it at all. So he says let’s give it a try.

So yeah. OUCH. If the last time he did one quick pull and the pain was sharp and searing, this time the thing was being pushed back into the eardrum so the pain is slow and building. Until  — oh shit, dammit! that hurt — then it really starts. So we go through a number of rounds, each time it hurts more and more, but I’m hanging in there. At one point I say, “If it’s going to be over fairly soon, and if I can swear out loud, I think I can get through it.”

Handholding (thanks, Liz) (or should I say handcrushing?), actual kicking of legs (thanks Liz for holding my leg down), swearing out loud, and then we have actual tears after the pain got to be too much and I had to beg him to stop. Sit up, cover face, cry, fall apart.

So yeah. We weren’t done yet. At that point it was: have the shot or reschedule and be put under. After much internal debate (I hated to give up), and aided by his admission that the shot itself would hurt quite a lot, I chose to reschedule and have the outpatient procedure at the hospital sometime soon.

So thankgoodness someone was going to drive me home because I felt sooooo shaky and sick. I came home and crawled back under the covers for awhile. Still feeling pretty crummy and more than a little sorry for myself.

Disappointed that it’s not over yet but I really did my best. I couldn’t have the shot. I’d rather face the pain than have the needle in my ear. Unfortunately, I couldn’t handle it. Oh well. Now it’s vegetarian dal with coconut milk and jasmine rice and trashy TV and cuddles with kitties all around. Next time I bring this up I promise it will have a happier ending.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 6:28 pm

    I’m sorry that you had to go thru so much pain today. I hope it is better now and you can put the next appointment out of your mind for at least a little while. Thomas is such a handsome fellow…he looks so happy! Must be all the love he’s getting! 🙂

  2. December 7, 2010 1:13 am

    *hugs*

  3. December 7, 2010 7:02 am

    Oh Daph, you are very brave. Big hugs!

  4. December 7, 2010 9:42 am

    is it possible to next time maybe take the kitties to cuddle with while awful, ungodly things are being done to/in your ear? 🙂

    i love thomas. it looks like he wants to be king of your house.

  5. December 7, 2010 11:14 am

    I agree with Tammie. Bring the kitties! They make everything better!

    I’m sorry this was so terrible.

  6. December 7, 2010 11:21 am

    I’ll ask them at the hospital check-in if I can bring my cats. I bet they’ll say yes, don’t you?

  7. December 7, 2010 3:40 pm

    That stinks….But for the record, the one time I was knocked out it turned out to be the BEST sleep I’ve ever had.

  8. December 7, 2010 8:55 pm

    Your descriptions alone make me wince. I think I’d (almost) rather go through natural childbirth again.

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